Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
A few weeks ago, after being in the kitchen for over two hours cooking, I asked my ten-year-old to clean up. She was so reluctant but began to work amidst tears. For a while I felt a pang of guilt wondering if I am beginning to overburden the kids with house chores.
I quickly trashed the negative feeling when I sensed the Holy Spirit clearly instructing me to “continue asking them to do chores until they get used to it! Otherwise, they would grow up with a distorted sense of judgement towards responsibilities”. In other words, I would need to saturate their time with experiences of work until they begin to feel responsible to get things done.
So I realized that being reluctant to do certain things is not entirely due to laziness or stress. It is sometimes due to the fact that a habit of doing them has not been formed! As a matter of fact, studies have shown that humans are inherently lazy but a strong habit of getting things done will ultimately override a slothful state of mind.
No one is born with the willingness to be responsible. Responsibility is a quality that must be taught to children until it gets embedded in their minds as they graduate into adulthood. A proper sense of responsibility will make anyone understand that certain things are done not because they are fun or interesting, but because they need to be done, regardless of how we feel.
When a child learns to separate sentiments from performance, it becomes easier to embrace the duties that adulthood brings without grumbling or complaining. For instance, a responsible parent understands that paying bills such as rent or school fees is a duty of sensibility and not of emotions. You do not pay fees or rent because its fun. You pay because it is necessary. Just as you do not have to enjoy house chores or cooking before you do them!
A lot of families employ the services of domestic staff these days and while that may be necessary or unavoidable in some circumstances, it should not stop growing-kids from being involved in house chores. Simple and regular tasks assigned to children have a way of shaping their attitudes towards major and higher future tasks. Self-respect, self-dependence and willingness to serve others are a few of the results that come from early training.
The art of living on its own is characterized by several processes. We go through some as children while we go through some as adults. There are several others that we go through as employees, newly-weds, leaders and so on.
I do not write this as a perfect parent. I realise that raising children is hard work and we keep learning on the job every single day. More so, I have heard and can testify that without being disciplined and responsible yourself, there is little or nothing you can achieve with your kids.
My objective with this post is to share my thoughts with the hope that someone might be encouraged and become more dogged in their decisions to raise disciplined children. We must never spare ourselves or kids from being properly stretched and moulded into responsible individuals.
Great write up. Train up a child and they will not depart from it. Thank you.
Exactly!.. Thank you for reading and commenting.